Don't cover your head and leave your bottom bare
by Nerfworthy
Summary: Alfons decides to go out on a limb and do something extra special for Edward, but his roommate's reaction is not at all how he expects. One shot. EdHei, one-sided. Slight crack continuation of 'Night after Night', and I'm not sorry! If you are familiar with Clear's route in DMMD then you will know exactly what scene I took this from.


Ed woke up, feeling sluggish. He wasn't sure how he ended up in the bed alone, because he was pretty sure he had fallen asleep on the couch with Alfons after another argument of who would be taking the bed this time. Clearly Ed had lost, as he ended up in bed alone. His head was still hazy with sleep, and he could hear sounds coming from the kitchen. There was also a wonderful smell wafting into the bedroom which awakened an unwelcome feeling of hunger in his gut.

With a small groan, he rolled his legs over the side of the bed and sat up with some effort, yawning and stretching before he took a look around the room. For some reason, it seemed like the room was literally sparkling, like it had been polished or something. He blinked twice, marveling in the unusual cleanness of their shared room.

The sound of a knife chopping something from the other room interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back into the present.

_What's gotten into him today? Alfons almost never gets up before me.  
_

After a glance at the clock and realizing it was well past morning, he decided to investigate what his friend was up to. As he walked down the short hallway, the smell amplified and took over his senses. On the table was a wide array of food items. It looked like everything one might need to create a delicious stew. Saliva began to pool in his mouth as not only the smell but the appearance of the food assailed his senses.

"Hm, hmhm, huumm!" Came the sound of cheerful humming from just around the corner. Ed rushed over, following the sound before freezing in place.

"Edward! Good morning!" Alfons practically had sparkles surrounding him as he greeted Ed.

Ed stood motionless as he took in the scene before him. There was Alfons, standing over the counter looking over his shoulder at Ed, chopping knife held in the air as he paused his actions. That's when the normalcy stopped.

The only thing that covered him was a cute, pink, frilly apron. His backside was completely exposed. Almost in slow motion, Ed's face turned a hot shade of red as his brain comprehended exactly what he was seeing.

Ed shook his head in disbelief, mouth open slightly as Alfons stood there, almost butt naked, holding a knife in the kitchen.

"You slept through breakfast, so instead of waking you I decided to make your favorite for lunch, stew!" Alfons exclaimed, clearly pleased with himself. "Did you sleep well, Edward? I took the time to clean our room while you were sleeping."

Ed listened to Alfons prattle on, his own mouth seemingly unable to produce any intelligible words. He belatedly had the sense to avert his eyes, and looked off to the side as he took in a sharp breath before he finally responded.

"Alfons... wh-what the hell are you wearing?" He stammered, looking at anywhere but his mostly-naked roommate.

Alfons frowned, gently putting down the knife and turning around to face Edward. "I was trying to do something nice for you on your day off! I worked hard." He pouted, noticing Ed's discomfort and flustered face as his gaze was avoided. It appeared as though tears were threatening to spill from Alfons' bright blue eyes as he studied Edward's outwardly negative reaction.

"Your idea of working hard is friggin' weird!" Edward cried, chancing a peek upwards at Alfons who, thankfully, was mostly covered in the front.

Alfons' face fell. "But don't they say that a man's romantic fantasy is someone naked in an apron cooking for them? So I thought you'd like it too!" He explained, looking a mix of sheepish, ashamed, and more innocent than he ever had.

"Where did you learn that?! Anyway, go and change out of that freaking apron!" Ed all but yelled at Alfons, his face still beet red with embarrassment.

_Did Alfons really think I'd like that? Where does this German come up with these things?!_

A single tear ran down Alfons' cheek as he gave a slight nod. "Unng.. yes." He whimpered, straining to keep the tears out of his voice, before leaving the counter.

_He looked really pathetic in that apron. And his ass is still showing!_

"Sheesh. What was he thinking? That's so messed up." Edward shook his head after Alfons had left the room, still willing his face to a more normal color as he took a spoon to dip it in the stew that Alfons had cooked for him. He took a small bite, the flavors coating his tongue in a wonderful melody.

He was pleasantly surprised to find that Alfons was actually a decent cook. It didn't taste quite like mom's, but it was good enough.

Edward stood, eating straight out of the pot as the guilt began to steadily rise in his chest.

Edward mumbled into his spoonful of stew. "_I shouldn't have treated Alfons so terribly. He was just trying to do something nice, I suppose..."_


End file.
